A tray of food lands on the table in a Tokyo restaurant, a paper sleeve holds the chopsticks, and a first-time American visitor wonders what to do before the first bite. Japanese dining etiquette has a few small rules that are easy to miss and easy to follow once they are known.
Eight customs matter most for visitors, according to Japan Guide, Tabelog, Japan Travel and Wikipedia. They start with saying “itadakimasu” before eating and end with the chopstick habit that matters most: never standing chopsticks upright in a bowl of rice. The sections below follow that order.
1. Say “Itadakimasu” Before the First Bite
Japan Guide explains that diners usually wait until everyone’s order has arrived, then begin with “itadakimasu,” a phrase of gratitude for the meal about to be received. If a dish is best eaten right away and others have not been served, “osaki ni dozo,” or “please go ahead,” lets the table start. Tabelog’s etiquette guide, published in December 2025, adds that the word carries gratitude for the living things that become food and for the people who prepared it.
A Wikipedia entry on the phrase traces it to Buddhist roots and says its earliest documentation dates to an 1812 etiquette book. Visitors are not expected to say it perfectly, and Japan Travel notes that most Japanese will excuse small mistakes by foreigners.
2. Pick Up the Small Bowls
Many American diners leave every dish on the table, but small bowls are meant to be lifted in Japan. Japan Guide says it is correct to lift a small bowl and bring it close to the mouth, while larger dishes generally stay put. Soup bowls and rice bowls are the usual examples, and Tabelog says soup is sipped straight from the bowl.
Holding the rice bowl in one hand and the chopsticks in the other keeps food from falling on the way to the mouth. Travelers packing for a trip to Japan can find carry-on options in a frenzhub.com look at carry-on suitcases.
3. Use Serving Chopsticks for Shared Plates
At an izakaya, dishes are often shared, and the polite move is to use dedicated serving chopsticks to transfer food to a personal plate. When none are provided, Japan Guide says to flip the chopsticks and use the opposite end, the part that has not touched the mouth.
The habit is a small courtesy that matters in groups, and travel etiquette has other debates, such as the one in a craftingyourhome.com story on Airbnb checkout chores. Families traveling together can compare gear in a frenzhub.com guide to luggage sets, and the etiquette is simple enough for children to learn on the plane.
4. Slurp Noodles, but Not Pasta
Americans taught not to slurp can relax at a ramen counter. Japan Guide calls slurping noodles evidence of enjoying the meal, and says it is said to improve the flavor. Tabelog agrees that slurping ramen, soba or udon is acceptable and even encouraged, and Japan Travel notes that it also cools hot noodles.
There is a limit. Wikipedia’s page on Japanese dining customs says Western-style pasta should not be slurped, and that slurping is not practiced universally. Other eating sounds, such as smacking and burping, are still considered bad manners. Restaurant etiquette questions come up at home as well, as a craftingyourhome.com story on a Charleston server and a tablet tip shows.
5. Go Easy on the Soy Sauce, and Keep It Off the Rice
Soy sauce is a dipping sauce in Japan, not a topping. Japan Guide says not to pour it over plain white rice, and to pour only as much into the small dish as will be used, because wasting sauce is bad manners. Wikipedia adds that filling the dish is seen as greedy and wasteful, and that diners can add more as needed. For habits that have faded from everyday life at home, a frenzhub.com list of small rituals offers a look back.
For nigiri, Japan Guide says to dip the fish side rather than the rice, so the rice does not soak up the sauce and fall apart. Some pieces, such as marinated ones, are already seasoned and are meant to be eaten without dipping.
6. Do Not Pass Food Chopstick to Chopstick
Handing a bite from one pair of chopsticks to another is a habit to avoid in Japan. Tabelog calls it “hiroibashi” and lists it among the chopstick mistakes that resemble funeral rituals. Japan Travel says the same, noting that the gesture is tied to funeral rites and should be avoided at the table.
The polite substitute is to set the food on the other person’s small plate, or to let them take a bite directly from the shared plate. Eating while walking is also uncommon in public, Wikipedia says, because it can be seen as inconsiderate.
7. Finish the Meal and Say “Gochisosama”
Japan Guide says it is good style to empty dishes down to the last grain of rice. After the meal, diners return the dishes to how they looked at the start: lids back on, chopsticks back on the rest or in the paper holder. The closing phrase is “gochisosama deshita,” which expresses thanks for the feast and, Japan Guide says, includes gratitude toward both the cook and the ingredients.
If a dish cannot be eaten, Japan Guide says replacements may be available at restaurants or ryokan when guests mention it in advance.
8. Never Stand Chopsticks Upright in Rice
The last custom carries the strongest language in the guides. Wikipedia says chopsticks are never left sticking vertically in rice, a gesture called “tatebashi,” because it resembles incense sticks placed upright during offerings at funerals. Japan Travel calls it very offensive, and Tabelog’s illustrated list of chopstick mistakes puts it first.
The fix is easy. Tabelog says that when a chopstick rest, called a hashioki, is provided, the tips go on it between bites. Wikipedia adds that chopsticks not in use are laid in front of the meal with the tips to the left, and that spearing food with them is frowned upon. Japan Travel says spearing is linked to childish behavior.
This article was produced with AI assistance and edited for accuracy against the sources linked above.
Image: City Foodsters – CC BY 2.0/Wikimedia Commons
